May the Fourth Be With You- Tips for a Happy Ewok

The Ewoks are furred bipeds native to the moon of Endor, but have recently migrated to the Redwood National Forest of California. You may be lucky enough to come upon the opportunity to adopt an Ewok as a member of your furry family. For those lucky few, here is a little more information on how to keep your Ewok happy and healthy.

About Your Ewok

They are curious individuals that stand Ewok Dogabout one meter tall. They are covered in fur from head to toe, with brown and black the most common colors. Most Ewoks have solid-colored fur, though you may find a few striped varieties. Ewoks have flatter faces and paws that possess two fingers and an opposable thumb. Despite their small size, Ewoks are physically strong, and can get into a lot of trouble if not consistently monitored.

Housing

Ewoks prefer arboreal huts or tree houses. In the wild, they preferred living high above the ground to hide from predators, and this is a habit they maintain as part of human families. If you have a small pack, arrange your houses around a central hut (usually the biggest tree), as they like to congregate occasionally. Usually this involves making a lot of noise and banging things around.

Food & Treats

They can be easily bribed, and absolutely love chicken, as it is not native to their homeworld. Bubble gum and taffy are terrible for Ewoks, as they get easily glued to their fur and can cause them to scream and roll around in a panic. Vegetables are a little tricky, and depends on your companion. We have found carrots to be a hit, but they tend to throw their broccoli around.

Toys

Ewoks don’t tend to be very selective about their toys. Some of their favorites include shiny sharp things, balls with bells, and sticks to carry around. In my personal experience, I have found that anything used to make noise will endear them to you in a heartbeat. To change things up, have a variety of hollow sticks and different sized drums that you can rotate through so that they don’t get bored.  Stringing up Christmas lights (not the flickering ones) in between huts can also be good creative stimulation (or conversation starters).

 Star Wars Dog 3

Tips & Tricks

  1. Do not leave them instructions that can be misinterpreted.
  2. Do not leave them instructions that need to be read.
  3. Do not leave them instructions that can be eaten.
  4. Do not leave them instructions.
  5. Do not leave them.
  6. Do not leave.
  7. Do not.
  8. Do. There is no “try.”
  9. Remember to bring your droid that can speak 300,000,000,000 different languages (that by some major coincidence includes Ewokese and Welsh.)
  10. Don’t hug them.
  11. Don’t give them shiny weapons.
  12. Don’t feed them after midnight.
  13. Don’t give them a garden rake. Bad things happen.

 

Disclaimer: This is clearly for laughs. Ewoks are sentient mammals who shouldn’t be kept as pets. Happy 4th!

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